Some time ago, I wrote a post about awful, awful men’s fashion trends. Luckily, I see less and less of those terrible lobotomy haircuts these days but anyway, I thought it might be a good idea to do one for us women folks because I’m all for equal rights as you know.
Over the last few months, I saw some trends that made me at best question people’s tastes and at worst laugh out loud. You know, I shamefully have to raise my hand for having fallen for at least one of these atrocities.
So here is my list of the worst crimes against women’s attractiveness:
1. Ripped Knee Jeans
When I was 16 the best thing that could happen was for my favourite jeans to rip in ~random~ places to show how worn out they were and how exceptionally cool I was for still wearing them. That was like 2001.
These days you will see 2 symmetrical rips on each knee on skinny new jeans. Why? Search me, I think they look pretty ridiculous but then I realised maybe they are fulfilling a purpose? Ever tried to sit down and bend your knee when wearing super tight skinny jeans? No? Well, after 10 mins you won’t feel a thing below your knee.
So maybe instead of making jeans fit, like how they should, the fashion industry just cut some holes in it and everyone just sort of went “meh” and rolled with the punches…
For those not familiar with this term, contouring means you draw some parts of your face really dark so you look more angular.
Kind of like the draw on six pack.
But you do that on your face!
When you do it well, you look beautiful, chiseled, like a real life photoshopped version of yourself… or, you look like most girls trying it out for the first, second and third time, like a joke… yep, I did look pretty horrific when I tried it myself.
“Drawing dark lines on your face? Yeah, that sounds like an amazing idea!”
3. Grey Hair
When I occasionally find a grey hair, I do what most of us do. I frantically try and find any more then I cry for 15 mins, cradling my knees (which are nice and bare thanks to my fashion choices).
But lately, I keep thinking, maybe I should just leave it natural? After all, girls now spend a lot of money to DYE their hair grey. What used to be a sign of age, is a sign of sheeple. apparently, grey, fluffy sheeple.
The worst is not even the colour itself, it’s the stark realisation that more and more people now have grey hair. Imagine the awkward moment two grey haired young girls walk into each other at a party. “Oh, you like dumb things too?”
Then follows the awkward moment you dye it back because everyone has it and it’s too mainstream, UGH, I like, totally did it first when I saw Kylie Jenner do it on Instagram.
4. Double Selfies
…because there’s literally nothing more interesting about you other than a selfie x2
5. Tattoo Chokers
Of ALL things to take away from the late ’90s, it’s fucking THIS?!
I realise some of you might not even be aware of the tattoo choker back in the day but it was a cheap piece of shit that you wore around your neck because it was the ’90s and we liked ugly things.