There’s No Glory in Being a C*nt

Lia Schopmeyer

Everyone likes to write their own review, and we all love to put ourselves in a favourable light if the occasion arises. This is often the case on dating sites especially, we all go to the gym, eat healthy and read books, honest!

But what I want to talk about today is the opposite of that. And I really mean the exact opposite.

I can’t help but notice that it seems to be in fashion these days to refer to yourself as a cunt, wanker or bitch.

Now to continue with another platitude, sometimes we are our own harshest critic but that doesn’t apply in these situations. Often than not, the claim to be someone who is obnoxious (which is essentially what people are saying) is accompanied by a strange sense of pride.

Like a badge of honour we wear the word ‘cunt’ proudly on our chests and brag about it as often as possible in social situations either in real life or online.

Don’t be one

But why?!


The other day, I was having drinks with a few friends and their friends. Everything was relaxed and we had a good time. It was only when my friend got a fruity cider that he was referred to as gay in a ‘humorous’ way. Now I know none of that came from any malicious place, that’s not what I found annoying. It was the fact that one particular fella was going on and on about his apparent homosexuality (he’s not gay FYI) because of a drink.


That led to more awkward stories about how he calls his girlfriend names, how he never gives girls in general a compliment and that there is no point in doing so and that he still gets laid (sounds like a story that should be posted here).


I raised my eyebrows so much I looked like I was having a fit. It was hard for me to hold my tongue and not spew: “YOU’RE FULL OF BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!”  Because I know that in private, I am willing to bet all my £2.57 that he’s actually a nice boyfriend with manners and no alpha male bravado.

All the while, he’d say “You can hate me, I know I’m a cunt”.

I am bewildered about this peculiar behaviour, have I missed the cunty memo? When has it become cool to be a cunt?

My understanding is, no one would walk around telling people they are a horrible person, a despicable being, the scrotum of society, yet that is exactly what he wanted you to believe, albeit tongue in cheek.


I guess the word wanker, cunt, bitch has just replaced the word cool. It’s cool to be horrible, or at least very nasty. Our fictional heroes such as Malcolm Tucker  from The Thick of It could be described as obnoxious, but a razor sharp wit and creative swearing is part of that particular cunt.

Malcolm Tucker not pictured as Doctor Who

But what is lacking for the average guy or girl is the wit that goes with it. It makes no sense out of that context.


I guess a sense of identity is better than no identity. Rather be a wanker than be a normal, average guy or girl which is ‘lame’.

But you know what’s even lamer? Parading your cuntiness around while making incredibly awkward insults that are neither funny nor even that insulting, just sad.


Stop describing yourself as a cunt, have some balls instead. There’s no shame in being a nice person but there’s definitely no glory in being a cunt.



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